Why do people have to break up. Nothing hurts more than a broken heart. If it was mutual, great. It’s still going to hurt. If it was not your decision though, that’s when it hurts the most. Knowing you spent every waking second with this person that doesn’t want to be with you. Also, when did they start thinking about breaking up in the first place? How long did they stay with and lie to you. You will never be able to make up for all the tears you’ve caused me. Because they still come to this day. You don’t understand. You never will. until maybe you’re with someone for this long and you have completely fallen for them and then one day they up and leave you like you were never anything. But why would anyone ever do that to you. I am so mad at you. I’ve never been in this much pain mentally, emotionally, physically. Loneliness hurts. Quiet rooms hurt. Oh my gosh I want to scream.
I can’t keep going to sleep like this. You destroyed me. I want you to walk into my room and hop on my bed and lay with me until it’s 1 and I’m falling asleep and I try so hard to keep you from leaving and then we are outside laughing and laughing and in each others arms and I question you and you reassure me and you lie to my face and then I walk inside not knowing and I can’t stop smiling and I go to sleep happy. Then the next day you get me and we drive somewhere and laugh and laugh some more then we go to the lake, we go downtown, back to your place then we are together and it’s us. We’re watching shows and tickling eachother which you hated. I would listen to your music just to hear your voice now when it comes on I cringe and my heart aches and I cant listen anymore. Because I listened to lies for the longest time. And then we would lay there, wherever it was. But I was yours and you were mine and I could look into your eyes forever and how could you dare look into mine. I let you into my life more than anyone else because I trusted you and you knew that and you played with my heart. And saying goodbye was never easy. I never wanted to say goodbye. Because we were family, we were bestfriends. I would go to sleep and wake up happy but you abandoned me. Now all I do is question myself. What could I have done..who now..why..how could this happen..maybe I’m being dramatic. But I’m being real. I am so broken. And now it’s 2:15am and I have school tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll be in my dreams. But tonight, stay out of them.